My mom, for example: she volunteers at the hospital, she tap dances in the musical at her clubhouse, she plays canasta with the girls twice a week, she does Sudoku in her garden, she’s on the party-planning committee… Men are more likely to define themselves by their careers – What do I do? Then again, many of my smart, strong, successful clients also bury themselves in their work for a decade, and emerge from their cocoon of success and travel, only to learn that they’re really, really lonely. And nowhere is that clearer than in the realm of relationships.and while she misses a travel companion, movie companion and regular sex, life is pretty much okay as it is. I can only imagine there are millions of women who haven’t contacted me who continue to immerse themselves in that worldview that success and accomplishment matters more than love. A few thoughts off the top of my head: • Over twice as many women take anti-depressants, compared to men.These guys play on their terms, not yours and are a total waste of time to any woman trying to forge something real and lasting. It’s like trying to teach a fish to ride a bicycle. Women expect their relationships to be transcendent. Some of the things I hate about being single are (in no particular order): lack of love, affection and emotional support; not having someone to go on vacation with; not having someone to share domestic tasks with; being excluded from social gatherings because I don’t have a partner; not having someone to talk to at home on a day to day basis; having to cope with the financial burden of being single (apartment, bills etc.); not having a regular source of quality sex available.Surely these things apply to men just as much as women?
But once you have a child, you cannot take it back. Third, single mothers profoundly misunderstand men. There are few men who are overjoyed to spend their blood, sweat and tears on some other guy’s genetic offspring. A woman who cares so little about her children, her own prospects, and her future husband is NOT going to make a great wife. Oh, and in return, you have to make HER the center of your life. When you meet a divorced single mother, immediately start looking for the flaw. Something that drove another man to pledge his undying love to her, to have and to hold, from this day forth, and then sometime later decide “fuck this shit. Be very cautious around a woman who takes none of the blame for her failed marriage.
That child is aching for a man to call his or her own.
Every child of a single mother lies awake at night in bed, longing for the Daddy he sees on TV, in books, in the lives of the other kids at school.
Updated to add: The use of the term ‘single mother’ is not exactly accurate. If you screw up and get pregnant, don’t screw up even more and bring an innocent child along with you! Divorced moms who escaped abusive marriages with drug/sex/gambling/whatever addicts should not get a free pass from you, either.
If you are a mother and you are collecting child support, you are not a single mother. The rest of us who have to LIVE with your fucked up, emotionally scarred children will PAY you to have a fucking abortion. Second, single mothers are clearly really, really shitty at making life decisions. You both put each other’s happiness above your own. Now divorced mothers, who are a breed of single mothers, MIGHT be a little different, but whenever you approach one, sing this little song in your head: it takes two to tango. Even if it’s TRUE that the husband was a colossal fuck-up, you need to ask yourself what kind of imperceptive moron couldn’t spot that?